Frozen Pizza

I’m moving in 7 months. In 7 months my best friend and I are packing up and moving 2.5 hours Northwest of here to go back to school full time. No work, no bill responsibilities besides school. My car will be paid off and I will be free as a fucking bird!
Being the “big boned” people that Katie and I are we’re hoping this will help us starve without starving ourselves…? We think we’ll probably be too poor to afford any food. My mom had a total change of heart from being totally against me going away to offering to pay my rent when I get there. Huh?? I think it’s going to be super hard for her and I feel so guilty about it because she’ll be alone. We’ve always been like best friends, as cheesy as that may sound. I was one of the lucky kids that got a really cool mom that’s always been there for me. People think we have a strange relationship- and we really do. We can yell and scream and cuss at each other all day long and then it flips and we’re cool. I appreciate her everyday.
Katie and I decided that it would be best not to live on campus with a bunch of crazy 18 year olds. We’ve been to school before, we’ve partied and done all the normal college stuff. We’re over it. I don’t want to party every night and drink until I vomit; I want to get my money’s worth!
We did have some really great drunk times, though. One weekend while visiting Katie in Waco at TSTC we had the best ER visit ever. After a long night of drinking, Katie, Nate (Katie’s boyfriend), Hillary, Talore (Katie’s roommate) and I were discussing the fact that John (a rather plump, flaming gay classmate) had come in and taken (he stole it!) a frozen pizza from the fridge. Moments later, John’s roommates burst in (without knocking!) and announce that the ambulance was her; John was going to the ER. He fell out of a window. Curiosity got the better of us, probably because we were still buzzin’ and probably shouldn’t have left the front yard, and we went to the ER to see John. Talore lied to the poor, gullible man at the front window and told him she was his cousin so we could get some info. At first all they told us is that he broke his leg in 3 places from a 2nd story fall. Ouch. We decided that he must have been sitting there fondling his frozen pizza, just ready to unwrap and nuke the bitch, when he heard Talore coming to beat his ass for stealing her pizza. John flung the pizza out of the window in a blind attempt to save himself. At that very moment he realized, no, that was not Talore, but just a wee kitten scratching at the door. He dove out the window in attempt to retrieve the tasty pizza before it was too late. The bush was not enough cushion for this fat man’s fall and he was left there, legs- broken and disfigured. HAH! Come to find out his roommates locked him in his room and he thought it would be cute to jump from his window to the stairs, pop in the front door with a “haha, surprise bitches!” and get the best of them. Well, fat men don’t fly! John’s dad came to see him and his only words were “son, you know we shoot horses with broken legs?”
Ah, the good ol’ days…